Archive - i've got your news right here, pal

There Were So Many Guys in Oppenheimer, I Forgot Einstein Was Real

It’s the huge Oscar evening and in honor of this I am going to embarass myself.

Mar 11 •

Audrey Farnsworth

February 2024

I Need to Talk to You About the Movie Where an Elevator Is a Murderer

Take my hand and let's go on a magical journey together where I use a lot of exclamation points

Feb 16 •

Audrey Farnsworth

January 2024

i watched signs six times in 2023

but actually it was probably more times than that

Jan 11 •

Audrey Farnsworth

December 2023

Keep in Mind As You Read Our Normal Family's Regular Holiday Card That We Are Regular!

Our Family's 2023 Holiday Card Has Arrived to You!

Dec 22, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

Watching Godzilla Movies Out of Order Is My Personal Rebellion Against Time Itself

Part one of a very chaotic and oddly comforting Godzilla journey

Dec 17, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

November 2023

Let Me Talk to the Pardoned Turkeys

The news today is I need to have a word with those turkeys. ALONE.

Nov 21, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

I Am Deeply Afraid of the Ceiling TV at My Dentist

the news today is the dentist, as usual, wants me dead

Nov 16, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

my brain argues with its security guard, refusing to do anything

the news today is my brain doesn't want to do anything so hard that i'm pretty sure it wants to do something

Nov 10, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

October 2023

it's sunday at target and the vibe is chaos

the news today is a modern day folktale.

Oct 24, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

September 2023

a very special presentation of a very special film review

the news this week is a movie with beth and opening up

Sep 16, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

August 2023

the great tea kettle mystery of 2023

the news today is sometimes something can not matter and also matter though

Aug 20, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

July 2023

what if i handed you a note that just said "crying in public is fine" and then booped you on the nose? and then sprinted away?

the news today is what if i did that? hm?

Jul 27, 2023 •

Audrey Farnsworth

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