the beth and audrey show, as posted online for like a decade
the news today is different than other newses (it's about my mom)
the other day i posted this and this on twitter. see below sans links, if you’d like.
it felt good to get it out of my body and shout it, sort of? we’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on with my mom for more than half a year and now we know for certain and it fucking sucks, man. i mean, she’s in good spirits, and the only thing she is (outwardly) worried about is that we’re okay. she even told her sister that she still “needs to take care of” me. what a gift to be loved this fucking much, tbh. this is the sentence that keeps me going. my relationship with my mom is one of the most important things of my life. it will always be a kind of magic to me.
i’ve spent, like, 12 fucking years sending tweets about my mom—things she says, interactions between us, full transcriptions of her yelling at movies, etc. going back to read them made me laugh HARD. she’s SO FUNNY, dude. like in the kind of way that is uniquely her. i’m a lot like my mama in a lot of ways. sometimes when we talk to each other, it feels like two aliens putting sentences together in whatever way they fucking want because “grammar” doesn’t express their personality and feelings correctly and did you know you can actually do whatever you want? it’s true!
so, i went searching further back for more tweets i sent about her, because the ones i originally posted were only the tip of the fucking iceberg (and honestly, so are these! there’s so many). reading them made me so glad, so i decided to compile them. she always used to say to me whenever i tweeted about her “only you think i’m funny, aud” or “i’m only funny because YOU make it SEEM funny” and i can definitively say, no, mama, you are funny because you are funny. but you and me together? we’re the perfect team.
she got so mad about dennis quaid being tall! reading her words makes me feel a large amount of gratitude in a sea of sadness. showing you these sentences is helpful for me!
it was as if she just discovered photos for the first time. i’m not sure why alyssa milano came up!
these clearly aren’t in order. who gives a shit! he doesn’t want to be made of rocks
the raisin bran argument was actually a very big deal and i did not hear the end of it for awhile.
when she said the taco bell thing, she was staring directly at me and not blinking.
he exploded.
i think she was right about the raisin thing????
i’m so happy i documented all of this???????
“it’s loose in the house.” the roomba is.
i could do another full post of movie reviews! that’s a threat!
i can’t believe i’ve been so lucky for my whole life to have her on this planet with me. this isn’t a new thought, though. i’ve always known how great she is and i can actually say that i’ve never taken her for granted. and i’m certainly not giving up on her yet, or ever. “this isn’t the end,” she said to my brother and i last week. and she’s right. it’s fucking not. i’ll talk to you later.
Your mom is so funny! The taco bell thing and the roomba thing both made me laugh the most. I'm sorry about her diagnosis. But I'm glad you have each other, and she's gonna do well!